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Stuck in the Middle
}} Therkla faces the "hero's choice" and chooses option "C". Cast * Elan ◀ ▶ * Daigo Da- ◀ ▶ * Kazumi Kato (pregnant) ◀ ▶ * Therkla ◀ ▶ * Daimyo Kubota ◀ ▶ * Kubota's Samurai ◀ * Two Ninjas Transcript Kubota: What will it be, Therkla? Turn on me, and your would-be lover dies. Stay with me, and you may resume your position as my right hand. Elan: Hey, let me go, and I'll show you a position with my right hand that I think will sum up her decision. Kubota: Really, my dear, you're a smart girl. I don't understand your loyalty to this buffoon. Elan: Huh. That's what I was about to say. Elan: He doesn't care about you, Therkla. To him, you're just another disposable ninja mook. Kubota: And to him you are yet another female villain to seduce to the side of Good. Kubota: He'll forget you when the next femme fatale comes around. Elan: And he'll sacrifice you when the next opportunity to get ahead comes around! Kubota: He'll— Therkla: SHUT UP! Elan: But— Therkla: Both of you! Therkla: I'm not choosing anyone! I don't know why this is so damn hard for everyone to understand. Therkla: All I want is for everyone I care about to stay alive and safe. Why do I have to pick one of you to suffer? Elan: Because he's a villain! He needs to be punished! Kubota: Because he's a hero! He needs to be eliminated! Therkla: Well TOO BAD! Therkla: I am so sick of Good Guys and Bad Guys! Therkla: I don't care who wins anymore! I don't care who rules Azure City—there isn't even a City left to rule! Therkla: Everyone is just fighting for meaningless titles and nonexistant territories... and... and their inflated egos! Therkla: You want me to make choice? Here's my choice. Therkla: Kubota, you are going back to your ship. Elan: HA! Therkla: You are going to contact all your allies, and you are going to turn and sail away. Therkla: You're going to go found your own city, or conquer someone else's, I don't care. Therkla: And Elan, you agree to go back to Hinjo and use your persuasive abilities to convince him to just let them go. Elan: But he tried to kill— Therkla: Shush! Therkla: And that's it. We split into two kingdoms, and everyone lives happily ever after. Or else. Kubota: Or else, what? Therkla: Or else I remind you that I'm the highest-level character on your payroll by killing both your samurai before they can even blink. Therkla: Really, I don't know what you were thinking with this "hostage" thing, sir. You know these guys can't stop me. Kubota: I'm sorry, my dear, but ruling over a few ships or some ragamuffin town simply will not do, not when Hinjo may already be dead. Therkla: Well then... I guess I would rather see you both alive—and one of you in prison—than either one of you dead. Therkla: So... Therkla disarms the samurai threatening Elan with a kick, "KATUNK!" Therkla stabs and kills the samurai holding Elan, "SHTICK!", while Elan grabs his weapon. Therkla throws a dagger and kills a ninja, "THUNK!" Elan: Ha! Looks like I'm the hostage with the most-age! Elan kills the other samurai, "schlurt!", and the other ninja flees. Therkla: Now come on, you know you can't fight us alone. Surrender, and we can— Kubota hits Therkla with his hand, "skritch!", causing a wound on her shoulder. Therkla: OWWW!! Kubota: Why take the bard hostage? Because I thought it might give me a round or two where your attention was elsewhere. Therkla: What was that? A needle? Kubota: I may be a lousy swordsman, but I can still make a touch attack with a poisoned ring— Kubota: —if my target is otherwise occupied by, say, rescuing the man she loves from evil samurai. Kubota: It's the sort of preparations one makes when one is told that the highest-level character on one's payroll has defected to the enemy. Therkla collapses, poisoned. Therkla: Unnnnhhh... Elan: THERKLA! Kubota: Now, let's see, Elan... Kubota: I believe you recently expressed interest in wanting to face the "hero's choice" yourself? Kubota: I think an appointment just opened up for you. Trivia * Stuck in the Middle with You is a 1973 hit song from Stealers Wheel's self-titled debut album. * This is the final appearance of Kubota's Samurai. They first appeared in #589. External Links * 592}} View the comic * 91189}} View the discussion thread Category:Kubota's Regicide Plot Category:Uses Pun Attack